Gods and AngelsGod I know it's been forever since anyone heard a peep from me. May 15th 2007 to be precise...
Sometime I ask myself why I even bother. How many of you really remember me? For a few years there the dA was just this huge part of my life, and for nearly a year and half I have hardly vested a moment in it. Not because I didn't want to, because i wasn't really given the option.
What happened in that year....
I met a girl, moved from home, thought life was grand, then got kickedi nte teeth. I had pretty much forsaken every member of my family. Put her above everyone else, and danced off into my own little lala land.
Life was good, for about a month. Then bills piled in, bills i had to pay. She needed spending money. Gas Money. Time away from me. I was crowding her...
Before too long it was chore, but I kept at it because I'm loyal. When I tell someone I love them it's because I do, and deep down I beleive that love conquers all...
I just have a tendency to beleive that as long as there's love, then anything can be overcome. I guess there just has to be love on both sides. Oh, there was love, don't get me wrong, but a person has to be just a little self involved. A little less in it for themselves.
I read somewhere that the reason so many relationships fail these days is because people care soley for themselves, and hardly at all for others...
Lastly, the break-up.
And she broke up with me, Hah!
She dumped me for some little 16 year old hick she met at the fairgrounds... it's almost too karmically perfect... Have you all seen those Karma comercials lately... Yeah, it was that good....
Like i said, she was always complaining about needings space, tyhat I was crowding her, that I wouldn't let her have any friends and that I was always an asshole to the ones she had. The thing is, I was continuously telling her she needed friends, that she needed to meet new people, And the whole crowding thing... Let me put it this way, Why do you think I wasn't on the dA hardly for a year and a half...
Seriously, if I left the room we started fighting... She'd get on the internet the entire time I was at work, but the moment I got home it was all for her....
So she dumped me...
And I cried, yeah I'm a puss, what can I say? Say what you will, it's my nature and I don't give a shit. I purged, then moved on.
But of course, she wouldn't let it go. It's a situation I've never heard of, but somehow I developed a break-up stalker, who broke up with me... I’ve never had a stalker, never thought I would, but that’s what happened. And she wasn’t the nice kind of stalker. She basically hounded me at work, telling me how I was going to do things for her. Give her my truck for example. She even went to the extent of having her boyfriend try and tell me what to do...
At the time I thought I still wanted her, until the police thing...
But that’s another story. Who know’s, maybe someday I’ll write it. Suffice it to say. I got the truck. I got my life. And she got to say bye-bye.
THANK GOD!!!
In the meantime,
The Ex actually pissed me off enough that I actually did something I’ve never done before. I picked myself up and grabbed a set of balls. I asked a girl out. A nice, normal, slightly better than average looking girl who to me looks beautiful. I Love her, and for once, The love is being returned. On the 13th we’ll have been together for six months, and we’ve only had one fight. Over something piddly and stupid, that was quickly resolved.
Devious Comments
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This is goodnight, and not goodbye.
~Tyler's Funeral
Perceval: Courageous knight, moral paragon, easily distracted by shiney things
Robots vs. Zombies. That would make a great spectator sport!
Anyways, it sounds like life's getting a little better... which is always, always good. And... even if there were some rough times, as some people say, what can't kill you only makes you stronger. So... I think that's a good way of me describing... how you've probably grown as a person... and I have NO idea where this is going.
Sorry. Well, welcome back from your temporary hiatus. Things can only get better from here, right? Maybe?
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Stop! Hammertime.
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"Better to risk breaking your neck than never to look up at the sky"
- found in Tad Williams's 'Otherland'
I missed you...
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"Paranoia is the mother of invention." Anita Blake 'The Executioner'
Happiness is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth
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"Paranoia is the mother of invention." Anita Blake 'The Executioner'
Happiness is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth
...I've missed you so much. I know that might sound scary, sorry,... I just mean, I've missed my friends.... You, kuroinami, synthwr... you were all my friends for so long...
Here for you, is the only thing I've written in the last... I don't know how long... I'm trying to get back to writing, and it's coming so easily I'm afraid....
About then Faye strode into the room. She had that same evil glare in her eye that I had seen yesterday only this time it seemed to be hampered by a sparkle of something slightly more sinister. She took the seat next to mine and I knew immediately she was waiting for some kind of reaction. The others stared and I turned to her politely.
“How are things going?”
“They’re not Trying to find intel in this town is about as useless as a handiwipe in a whorehouse. Everyone’s so fucking clueless, I mean, come on, they can’t all be airheads can they?”
When I didn’t respond, she continued:
“Then I get this little puke of a sidekick chasin’ me around like she’s Betty-frickin’-Crocker. What the hell is she supposed to be doing anyway?”
Fayes rant drifted into silence as the doors opened and another form entered. Gabriele took the seat to my left, across from Faye.
“ We might have found something.”
“Something or someone?”
I watched him hesitate for a moment.
“A little bit of both actually.”
***
There were already two cars in the drive when we pulled into the rutted two track that led to my barn; the white van we’d made our escape in the day before and a faded blue plymouth sundance. The van was puking what looked like transmission fluid all over the rich brown soil.
Before I had the car in park Faye was out her door and angling toward the bid entryway in front. I so wanted to be with her right now, pissed and angry and hurt, and ready to kill. But I just wasn’t sure I had anything left. I wasn’t sure there was any more reason left to fight. It was all beginning to fell like nothing again. Justice dead. Mercy dead. War dead. Vin was chained somewhere, beaten and tortured... or worse. What good was I to anyone? Everyone I loved was cursed.
“Cam, are we going in?”
Shuylin startled me. I had forgotten that she had ridden in the back seat, if that gives you any indication of how distracted I was.
“—yeah”
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"Paranoia is the mother of invention." Anita Blake 'The Executioner'
Happiness is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth
--
This is goodnight, and not goodbye.
~Tyler's Funeral
Perceval: Courageous knight, moral paragon, easily distracted by shiney things
Robots vs. Zombies. That would make a great spectator sport!
--
"Better to risk breaking your neck than never to look up at the sky"
- found in Tad Williams's 'Otherland'
I went through a bad break up (got dumped too), and now I've been more active on DA.
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~Allie
Poetry is best when written in fits of raw emotion and near insanity. -Self
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